Ar galvu bruģa spraugās un pirkstiem debesīs.

Pārsteidzoši, īstenībā, cik grūti ir pierast būt skaidrā un nevērsties, mazākās nebēdas gadījumā, pie kaut kā reibinoša. Jo ilgāk noturās, jo vieglāk paliek, bet, godīgi sakot, dažreiz neesmu drošs, ka vēlos turpināt šādi, vai turpināt vispār.

Stulbais pavasaris.

bouts of it come back.

I hate this state. I can barely get myself to do anything at all, and before I do get myself to do something, it takes so much time and effort, and in the end, when the deed is done, it just feels worthless.

itsallabittoomuchformerightnowandicanbarelyhandleitbutthistimethereisnooptionofevadingthecurrentpredicament

Es varētu ievīstīties segā un slēpties no dzīves, kā bērni mēdz slēpties no tumsas, taču diemžēl, šoreiz tas nenostrādās, šoreiz man jākāpj ūdenī un jāļauj zivīm sev kost, līdz tās būs sātā. Varbūt tad varēšu uzpeldēt atkal. Nezinu vienīgi , vai es uzpeldēšu saviem spēkiem, vai tādēļ, ka straume mani nesīs.

it's coming back

genghis tron - relief

if you don't understand, you do not deserve to know.

I dun goofd

This time seriously. I just hope I will be able to get out of this, soak to the bone or not.

Note to self: exercise more caution.

.

"Nu, kā bija izolātorā?"

My feelings towards cops are even more negative now.

Recent.

Chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes will make you feel like shit. Even more so if you've done meth the previous day.

Not sure if a bad crash or nicotine poisoning.

On another note, I'm tired of all the fuss surrounding people that partake in drugs. I'm fucking tired of not having the slightest idea on what's going on. I'm also tired of people not being mindful enough to remember what I've said.

Especially when I've said that five fucking times in a row, you bologna-ass fucktards.

Also, had a twitch, freaked me out. Fry, fry, fry the brain.

Oh, and I haven't slept for more than 24h, and I'm only now starting to feel drowsy. Usually I feel like shit way before that.

What can we conclude from that?

I didn't write this sober.

Just you and me, eh?
- just you and me, kid, everyone else is a passerby.I stay, you stay as well, and, although we may not be the best company to each other, this is the only guarantee. You can only leave yourself if you betray yourself. Some manage to, however, and they wallow in something way worse to what you find yourself in right now. You may think your problems are a big deal, and I'm not saying they aren't. It's just that others' problems are a big deal to them. You must knuckle on through and keep your head straight.



This will be over before you know it.


And so, I'm sitting here, slightly drunk, as I just let that vodka drip down my throat, burning it in the process. It is a matter of self destruction. It is a matter of destroying yourself when the world doesn't work the way you want it to. It's stupid, yet I couldn't resist. It has been a while, since such rage had taken me over. I want to slit some throats. I want to see someone bleed. I want to see myself bleed. I mean, I try, but what's the use, when in the end it's just disappointment and fiasco carousel over and over, and over again. This time, I've gotten sick, and I want to puke. I want to puke it all out and be clean like the sky is sometimes. I want to be clearer than the clear, I do sometimes want this over with.


There is no light ahead when you stop looking. And you have. You've given up. You've given up on everyone, you've given up on yourself. Sometimes you think you cannot take it anymore, but then, when you realize the shit you've taken, you understand that you can. you can take it, and a whole lot more. And that's one of the reasons you do. That's one of the reasons you almost never cry. You've learned, and you've learned well.

When you spill your insides for others to behold,
you oughta expect them not liking the sight,
your guts out, everything you are to be.

It's all observable, all the mistakes and mishaps.
And although you may hold onto an ideal tightly.
When this happens, it's all left for me.

Left for me to be heartless,
left for me to not care.
And then, sometimes you visit,
although you don't always dare.

All that is provided is to pass by.
And you're never to hold onto it.
And when you can never grasp and all you hold dear is so fleeting.
So becomes existence itself.



I think, at times when I felt like killing someone, it was just too much for me. I cannot always take it. I may be the peacebringer. The guy that entertains. The guy that often doesn't care. But I'm still human.
Just a human. All I really am. A piece of meat attached to a sophisticated computer, with preprogrammed functions I am to fulfill. Sometimes I want to fuck nature over, but it always ends vice versa. Vice versa, over and over and over again.


I'm honestly really tired. I'm tired of the loneliness, I'm tired of feeling like nobody cares, and yet, I do. Imprisoned in a shell built by me/.

nopenopenope

Without drugs, I am bored. Not sure if apathy or what exactly. Seems to be that I have certain symptoms fitting secondary alexithymia, might be a repressing thing of a ptsd nature, especially if we take a look at how detached I've become from everything during the last year. Don't know what to do.

First thing to do is to kick smoking, which isn't going to be easy, especially if we take into account that most people I've surrounded myself with lately are smokers, and I've become prone to not seek new social contact. Like a damn cluster of problems.

Quetiapine will help me with withdrawal symptoms such as sleeplessness, but besides that it will not be easy. I could really use some help and support, but I really don't feel as if I have someone I can ask of that. I've become very convinced that nobody cares about how I feel or how I'm doing, at least in general, and, in return, I've become more and more indifferent to the feelings of others. I just see no reason to care about anything.

It seems like it will be some solitary struggle once again; although, that has been the case for the most part, really.

I admit that I do think it'd be easier to just ragequit.

A rather short list of movies/shows I deem worth watching

Pay no attention to order, only names of the movies and their years (not in all cases) are mentioned:

Code Geass: Lelouch Of The Rebellion (anime series)
Alice In Wonderland, the Disney 50's cartoon
Franz Kafka - A Country Doctor (anime)
Howls Moving Castle
Princess Mononoke
Spirited Away (anime, as I'm sure there was a movie named like that)
My Neighbor Totoro (To these last 4 I would like to add that all I've seen from studio Ghibli was worth watching)
Moon (2009)
Psycho (1960)
Schizopolis
George Carlin - You are all diseased (a stand-up) (1999)
Cube (1997)
Aliens (1986) (most of the series is worth watching if one is into this type of horror)
A Clockwork Orange
American Psycho (2000)
Batman: The Dark Knight (Mostly due to Ledgers performance)
Dark City (1998)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)
Fight Club (1999)
Henry's Crime
Jacobs Ladder (Recomended to any Silent Hill game series fan, you will see why)
Pandorum
Scott Pilgrim VS. the World (2010)
Stay (2005)
The Fly (1986)
The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (2005)
The Prestige
The Boondock Saints (1999)
There Will Be Blood (2007)
Yellowbrickroad (2010)

adleiavde

This week has been spent mostly on psychoactives, since I had only been sober one day. All in all, it was quite fun and all, but I am here mostly to bitch, complain and just spit out whatever's on my mind, and most of the time those are the things that bother me, be they relevant to me directly or not.

First of all, DMH trip report:

Quantity: ~1g per person
Participants: 2

I don't recall the precise time of events, thus some things said may not be in a chronological order, I consider that irrelevant, however.

Pills were quite small, yellow coated, sweet on the outside, but bitter on the inside, leaving a long lasting aftertaste. We downed 10 pills first, waited for about 30-40 minutes and then downed the 10 remaining ones. Since I knew what deliriants are like from my experience with nutmeg in the sense of short-term memory failings and confusion, I wasn't very scared of the drug, even though unpleasant hallucinations were mentioned, I wasn't too scared of those either, since I very seldom hallucinate on drugs, and when I do, it's usually quite mild.

At first there was nothing, then I felt it slowly building up. Friend that took it with me said he didn't have anything, so I suspect it hit him later (but harder for sure).

I cannot say I enjoyed it in a conventional sense, at least not at the time. Deliriants are the kind of drug that make it feel weird and confusing, for some scary, even, whilst it happens (especially first time), but after you're off it, you think of it differently, at least I do. I like the weirdness of it, however, I do understand how it's not for everyone after the experience even more.

I did have some hallucinations, though. I heard sounds (some sort of faint, unintelligible whispers) that I knew for sure weren't supposed to be there, since I was alone in the room, and there was the face-shift one, as I could call it, although that is a rather improper name if I take into account what it was like. I looked at the face of a friend of mine (not the one that took the same drug, another one) and the face seemed quite unfamiliar to me, it looked as a totally different face than that which he had before (I was still sure it was the same person, though), and then it seemed as if it sort of shifted/changed somehow, but it might as well be due to short-term memory not working properly and me forgetting what I had seen before.

I believe the confusion caused by deliriants might be due to the memory failures. You forget things very fast, mid sentence, even. The friend of mine that had tripped with me actually asked me if I know where I am, as if he was talking to someone else. (''Do you know where bear is?'')

Another thing was that, when they all went out to smoke (3 people, all high), I stayed in the room and decided to surf the internet for some info. I ended up trying to look up the same thing on google 5 times, each time forgetting what I wanted to do and ending up dumbly staring into the screen. I also, for short moments, repeatedly, believed I was at home.

Just imagine it, you're sitting at a friends place, in his room, by his computer, and you think you're home. You look left and wonder why it looks different, it wasn't like that before, you look right and you understand you're at friends place. Then, after some time, it happens again. Prior to this I've only had this right after I just woke up at a friends place, thinking I'm home, but as soon as my eyes opened and I confusedly looked around, I understood I wasn't home at all.

I also spent quite a lot of the time staring somewhere with my mouth widely open. I think that might be due to the confusion.

There was one thing ruining this trip for me big time. I felt a heaviness on the left side of my chest, and I thought my heart will stop because of the way it felt.

All in all, compared to me, my friend seemed to have more intense psychoactive effects and seemed to hallucinate more than I did. It might be because I had done nutmeg before (maybe it works on the same receptors), or it might be due to something else, since it seemed to be like that when I did LSD as well.

The drug completely wore off only the next day, since even next day I had dilated pupils and felt somewhat odd.

That is about it on the trip. I'm thinking of trying robodryl (DPH/DMH + DXM), because I have an opportunity to and because they are said to potentiate each others effects.


adleiavde


Note to self: smoking 2 cigs in a row in a manner when you inhale only smoke, and never air, is bad for you and has made you feel like shit and think that your heart will give out. Don't do it.

Stulbums Latvijas Valsts policijas mājaslapā

Tiešsaite


Lasot lapu mēs nonākam pie narkotikām. Manuprāt, pirmā problēma ir tāda, ka netiek skaidri definēts, kas ir narkotika. Ne visas psihoaktīvās vielas ir narkotikas. Labi, it kā nieks, lasam:

Laikam psihonautus viņi bāž zem ziņkārīgajiem. Nu, labi, varu ar to samierināties.

Lasam tālāk:





















Kuce, ko? Jūs tikko minējāt 5 iemeslus, kādēļ cilvēki lieto narkotikas un tagad apgalvojat, ka patiesībā tādi iemesli neeksistē? Man liekas, jums pienākas balva antropoloģijā, jo jūs esat atraduši pirmo pavisam absurdo cilvēka darbību, kurai, kā jūs apgalvojat, patiesībā nav nekāda iemesla.

Man ir nelielas sūdzības arī par nākamajiem punktiem.

2. Kas būtu šīs ''milzīgās nepatikšanas''?

3. Ne gluži. Ir cilvēki ar hormonāliem disbalansiem un citām problēmām, līdz ar to, ne visiem ir vienādas iespējas izjust baudu. Jābilst arī tas, ka, par spīti tam, ka lielākajai daļai ir iespējas gūt šo baudu, narkotikas paver iespēju šo baudu gūt ilgstošāk (lai gan tas sabojā smadzeņu atlīdzinājuma sistēmu).

Pie apgalvojuma "[L]ietojot narkotikas, tu zaudē kontroli par savu dzīvi," es gribētu pakavēties.

Pirmkārt, viens no minētajiem iemesliem narkotiku lietošanai bija "nestabila situācija ģimenē", kas paredz, ka subjekts nemaz nav situācijā, kurā viņam būtu liela kontrole par savu dzīvi. Es neapgalvoju, ka viņam vispār nav kontroles, bet gan to, ka šī kontrole ir ļoti ierobežota. Praktiskuma labad es nemaz neiesaistīšos kontroles temata iztirzāšanā, jo arī tas ir pat ļoti strīdīgs jautājums.

Un mēs atkal nonākam pie tā, ka mājaslapā (iespējams arī likumā) nav īsti definēts, ko viņi domā ar vārdu "narkotika".

Ieejot latviešu vikipēdijā, piemēram, mēs iegūstam šādu vārda ''narkotikas'' definējumu:

Atkarību izraisošas psihotropas vielas.

No šī mēs automātiski varam izsecināt, ka ne visas psihotropās vielas ir atkarību izraisošas; citiem vārdiem, ne visas psihotropās vielas ir narkotikas.

Taču zemāk ir piebilde.

Par narkotikām sarunvalodā nereti dēvē jebkuru ar likumu aizliegtu apreibinošu vielu.

Tieši šī piebilde ir viens no iemesliem, kādēļ ieskaidrot manai omei, ka alkohols ir narkotiska viela, ir gandrīz neiespējami, jo viņas viedoklis par to, kas ir narkotika, balstās uz nepietiekamām zināšanām par šo tematu.


Un te paveras vēl viena problēma.

Atkarības iedala divos veidos - psiholoģiskajās un fiziskajās. Taču par to neviens īsti nerunā pret narkotikām vērstās kampaņās (vismaz es nekad neesmu redzējis, ka runātu).

Vēršamies tālāk.

Pirmkārt, ne visas ar likumu aizliegtās vielas pat var pieskaitīt pie narkotikām, otrkārt, likumā nav minēti iemesli šo vielu aizliegšanai, un treškārt, ne visas ar likumu aizliegtās psihotropās vielas sniedz ''kaifu'' šī vārda ikdienas izpratnē.

Ja kāds man spēs izskaidrot, kādēļ alkohols ir kontrolēta substance, taču LSD, piemēram, ir pilnībā aizliegts ar likumu, un šis izskaidrojums būs pamatots un sakarīgs, es laikam apdirsīšos no laimes, jo tiktāl, cik esmu pētījis, daudzas no vielām, kuras ir aizliegtas ar likumu, ir drošākas nekā tās pašas kontrolētās substances.

Ne visas psihotropās vielas sniedz ''kaifu''. Psihotropo vielu lietotājus var iedalīt apakšgrupās. Ne visi dzenas pakaļ labsajūtai, daži ir gatavi arī piedzīvot ļoti nepatīkamus ''tripus'', lietojot psihotropās vielas, nereti apzināti. Beidziet, lūdzu, bāzt visus vienā maisā!

Note number unknown

Subjecting yourself to voluntary rage bouts cannot be considered healthy, especially if it's enraging enough to create desire to tear someones limbs off.

Welcome

Welcome to the world where we:

• treat symptoms, and not the problems themselves
• 
  
• remain ignorant and feel satisfied without actual understanding
• 
  
• find out one possible factor and forget that there may as well be others
  
  are out only for ourselves, thus encasing ourselves in tombs worse than anyone else could
• 
  
• just don't care at all, yet pretend to, for whatever reason

I hate this fucking shithole

I dunno if it's me or Lucy, but I have shakes, all the time, yet, weirdly it feels good. OHGODWHATINTHEFUCK

Just made it

fuckyoufuckyoufuckyouintheass

Some time ago I had what I could best describe as a breakdown. And, although for the past several years I've been dealing with quite a lot of trauma, ironically, this breakdown was unrelated to that, as it was caused by uncertainty, or, to be more precise, my growing certainty of uncertainty. Bear with me long enough to explain the intricacies, though.

First thing, which is, of course, related, is that, lately, my thinking's getting more complex, or I perceive things as more complex then I perceived them before. This, I believe, is not seeing complexity where there is none, though, and comes from the increased knowledge on a range of subjects, which has made me see the mistake people so often make in reasoning and evaluating things, occurences and statements - simplifying.

Here's an example of a rather complex problem presented to me by someone:

Say you want to buy a videogame, and the price tag states that the price of the game is 2$ + half of the games price. This is an exact word for word here.

My first instinct is to replace the number with a variable, to simplify any operations. Next thing, however, is that for me, the above statement, even when rephrased, doesn't make sense.

My communication isn't that well, so chances are that I will be either not understood or misunderstood, but for me, the equation ends up going towards infinity.

The rather simple explanation, which baffled me, yet left me feeling a hole there, was as follows.

Price of game = X

X = 2 + 1/2X
Thus
X - 1/2X = 2
1/2X = 2
X = 4

Okay, in a way, this equation totally makes sense, but, even so, the statement itself is what leaves me not accepting it.

Price = X
Half of price = 1/2X

If we follow up what was in the simple equation above, yet hold onto the statement that price of the game is its price + the half of it, each time you calculate that price, you have to recalculate it. To me this occurs because I see the statement as something being itself, yet half more of itself.

If after calculations, price is now X = 4, then, price is, once again, this X = 4 + 1/2X = 8, then, again, and again, ad infinitum.

My alternative solution to this was to use two variables (keep in mind that the statement itself STILL does not make sense to me, and no matter how I tried to explain that, the other person did not understand me, it is the uncertainty created here that also made things hard - did the person not understand me because the way I perceived the statement was contradictory? Or was it because I couldn't communicate it properly? Or was it that I was right about the statement being contradictory, yet the person didn't perceive this contradiction? Or was it something else?)

So, onwards:

Price of game = X
Variable which we place instead of the number 2 in the equation will be Y
Half the price of the game = 1/2X

X = Y + 1/2X
1/2X = Y
X = 2Y

This is completely compatible with the first solution. No problem in the solution. The problem, as I'm repeating once again, is the presentation of the statement, or, rather, my resistance to statements when the value of something is increased by itself, because, from the way I see it, each time it is increased (each time the result is calculated), if we really hold onto the statement, to me it seems that it should increase itself again.



Some while ago, incidentally, I had stumbled on something really simiar to this, in a Doom3 mod script (for those interested, this script piece was essential to make incremental spread in relation to time one holds the trigger, so that, for precision, the player should shoot in small bursts).

The part of the script that matters is this:

        gradual_spread = gradual_spread + spread_incre_factor * (1 - (attackDiff /maxAttackDiff));

Once again the same problem for me (maybe it's because I skimped on math in the last grades, maybe there is a solution to this I don't know of, or maybe there is no problem there [which, might I add, is the most tragic case, because then I will *NEED* someone to explain it to me thoroughly enough until I get it] and I'm just in the wrong)

Paraphrasing the above equation with variables.

Z = Z + F * (1 - (U/I))

Using a simple approach here eliminates Z altogether, so that does not work here.

Using any other approach I can think of makes it larger every time it's calculated (which is the necessary part for the script) until it reaches a limit, if one is set.

Now there are two ways for statements like these to have limits. Within the statement itself. Basically, you calculate it only a certain number of times and then that's that, or, with the variable having a numerical limit.

In the first example (price of game) there was no limit stated, so it really depends on how one looks at it. In the latter, there was a limit, without which the problem would be exactly the same.


If I made any errors there, I urge you to present and explain them to me.





Okay, this part is out. Next part is something I've been dealing with for some time, too, but hadn't given it much thought, which is the problem of definition.


To explain, I will start with a rather simple question:

What makes pizza a pizza?


Sure, this sounds absurd and all that, but, from what I've noticed, oftentimes something seemingly absurd can have a rather intricate meaning lying under it. Often, when someone says something that just doesn't seem to make sense, it can make sense if one digs deeper.

Digging further.

How a pizza is pizza and a shoe is not?
How a pizza is more of a pizza than a shoe?

And now, the kicker:

The thing I'm trying to get across is that pizza is only a pizza because it is called so, and it is called so, well, because it is called so, and it is called so, because within this certain linguistical system we agreed that the word (which, itself, a collection of symbols making another symbol) pizza is used to describe a pizza, and not a shoe. Intrinsically, there is no more connection between the word pizza and the actual object - pizza, than there would be if we would refer to the object - pizza with any other set of symbols, be those numbers, letters or seemingly random smearings.

That might seem confusing, of course, and it confuses me too, in a way, but things only seem confusing if you know enough about them to get the confusion, but not enough to clear that confusion out.

Going on a slight tangent, yet, related. Letters are symbols, each of which are, in the spoken languages, used to illustrate sounds. S is an s because it sounds like an s in the sense of it being pronounced, and there is no error for me there, but the shape of the symbol S has no connection to the sound other than the one we made up. We could as well as use * to write down an S sound, and it would make just as much sense. And from that on, it would make exactly as much sense if we used, to describe the object - pizza, a set of symbols like this: ))@$*1&h@?k. Pretty common sense, it seems now, you'd say, hence the reason why different languages have different sets of symbols (and sometimes different symbols themselves) to describe the same object. The only words, that, at least in a relative sense, have intrinsic meaning, are onomatopoeias, which are words that are used to describe exactly the things they sound like. A meow is a meow because a meow sounds like a meow.

Here I got off track, it seems like I'm missing some point in my above musings, so I'll have to cultivate that, but onto the next point, which is also quite strongly related.

P is a symbol
I is a symbol
Z is a symbol
A is a symbol

Each of these symbols stand for something.

Combining them, however, in certain ways, creates another symbol.

So words themselves are symbols made of symbols. Okay, heading onwards.

If letters, numbers, etc are symbols that are used to construct more symbols, can a sentence be viewed as a symbol as well?

To me, it seems that it's not always the case.

P symbolizes something
Pizza symbolizes something else, but it needs the P symbol in the right place to symbolize exactly the thing it symbolizes. Of course, we could understand if someone wrote ppizza, or pizzzzzza, or pizzaa, that the word is refering to the object - pizza, but that would be because we already agreed that word pizza symbolizes object - pizza, from which, then, with associations, we understand other deviations of that word/symbol.

Would you be understand what I meant if I wrote you an invitation like the following?

Let's order some )(-.>**!

I meant let's order some kebabs (bet you thought it was going to be pizza, no, I have to keep you alert).

Yet, outside the symbolic system, or, maybe, in another system, that makes perfect sense, or, at least, as much sense, if I actually wrote the word kebabs.


We rely on symbols all our life, often not noticing the huge role they have in our life. As we learn more symbols, we are able to learn more symbols, then we learn about their symbolic interactions and relationships between each other in a certain system, and, before we know it, we cannot escape their grasp. We no longer see a brick as just a blunt, rectangular object of a certain color, it is a brick. When we see a brick we don't think: "Hey, a bordeau colored rectangled object." We see a brick, and, by a chance, we will always see it as a brick once we know that it's a brick, or, at least, that it's called that.

Yet another related thought to this I had is that it might be both beneficial and not if you were listening to a song which was sung in a language you comprehend.

In the case where you don't comprehend the language, you are not familiar with the symbols used, you perceive the words as a bunch of phonetics. Sounds. Nothing more. But once, if ever, you come to learn and understand that language, the experience of listening to the song will never be the same again, no matter how you try, after this change you will not be able to NOT pay attention to the meaning of each of the symbols used. Of course, if the words sung were similar to any you have encountered before, association would kick in and transfer meaning from the associated symbol to the newly perceived one, but, if you come across something you never encountered before, that experience is in itself pure.

Of course, once you familiarize yourself with the symbols used, you see it differently, which is why, when I was a small kid and didn't know english, as I listened to songs that were sung in english, I only perceived it the way I described it above, but after that, well, that's a whole new story, really.


Which leads me to remembering that today I had a thought to find some music in Latin. Why? Well, it's considered a dead language, it sounds (emphasis on sounds, I don't know Latin for shit) quite intriguing to my ears, and the experiment could help me understand what I have been trying to communicate to you here. After some time I may or may not want to know what the actual song is about, what is the meaning behind the symbols, or, to be more precise, what is the meaning ascribed to those symbols.

As for the person who has either suffered or skimmed through the whole text up to this point, take this as an invitation to explore something unknown. That's the intriguing thing for me with the 'weird' music. When you've listened to it for years and heard the same sounds over and over, once you hear new sounds, or enough deformed deviations of sounds heard previously, it is quite an experience, really, and this applies not only to music.



And this leads me to another thing that has frustrated me for a while, but I've exhausted myself, and, possibly, by reading this, if you really tried to understand, you may feel exhausted too (unless none of this was new to you and you had thought it over years ago, in which case, great, present me with your findings, for I am interested, my dear, yet I'm not sure in what exactly).

By the way, if you got this far, and have forgotten how I started this entry, check the beggining once again. Thought trains, ibiorio.

- Wall of text crits you for 13'507
- You die.

Eh, WoWtimes.

A review of a certain website.

Prime example of a horrible community, everyone is just out there to offend everyone. Lots of nude pictures, gore pictures, offending pictures, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, anti furry, sexism. If you are not one of them (heterosexual white male atheist) be prepared to take an insult. They also hack everyone who tries to stand up against them. Not for the weak hearted and especially not for kids and young adults, 21+ atleast!! As a proud gay christian furry I was insulted again and again for my choice of lifestyle everytime I tried to start a conversation. Also, a big minus for no accounts, it gets annoying that you have to write your nickname everytime you post. And other people might steal my nickname to try to imitate me. Overall I would not recommend to visit this site unless you are a psychopath!

>Also, a big minus for no accounts, it gets annoying that you have to write your nickname everytime you post. And other people might steal my nickname to try to imitate me.


>write your nickname everytime you post.

A hypothetical situation.

Kā man izskatās situācija, ja pieņem likumgrozījumus/nolīgumus, kas pieprasa, lai tiktu pieskatīts saturs, kas ienāk un iziet no interneta katrā datorā.

Par spīti tam, ka tas jau ir iespējams pēc tam, kad transakcija/apmaiņa ir veikta, ja tas būs absolūti nepieciešams, pie tam, katram datoram, tas nozīmē, ka būs arī kāds, kam šis darbs būs jāveic. Pie tam, ne par brīvu. Kas, savukārt, nozīmē, ka šis darbs kādam būs jāapmaksā. Jautājums ir par to, vai to apmaksās valsts un tās budžets, pie tam, tas nozīmē, ka būs augstāki nodokļi (lai apmaksātu visu nepieciešamo), vai arī par to būs jārūpējas interneta provaideriem, šajā gadījumā, izmaksas tiek pievienotas interneta abonēšanas maksā. Īsti nesaprotu, kā tas ietekmētu ekonomiku (piedodiet, Falkas kundze, jūsu stundās biju bieži saguris un novērsts), taču bilde, kas atspoguļo, kā tas ietekmētu individuālās izmaksas saistībā ar internetu, manuprāt, ir acīmredzamas.


Tālāk, par kopēšanas tiesību un intelektuālā īpašuma ideju. Atkal minēšu, ka šis ir mans skatījums un es labprāt redzētu arī citus. Brīdī, kad cilvēks nopērk, pieņemsim, mūzikas disku, cenā tiek iekļautas ne tikai fiziskās izmaksas, bet tas, ko vislabāk var nodēvēt par patērēšanas tiesibām, proti, tiek apmaksātas tiesības izmantot/baudīt/piekļūt diskā iekļautajai informācijai.
Šeit rodas, manuprāt, neliela problēma. Ja ir likumīgi iegādāties filmu/mūziku diskā un atskaņot to tā, ka tā ir dzirdama arī cilvēkiem, kas par tiesībām uz šo informāciju nav samaksājuši (skatīties filmu ar ģimeni), līdz ar to, tāda lieta, kā piemēram, stream, arī ir absolūti likumīga uz tā paša pamata līdz brīdim, kamēr par to netiek saņemta maksa.

Tas paver logu pirātismam, pie tam, ļoti vienkāršu. Ja ir iespējams likumīgi (un es neredzu, kādēļ lai tas būtu nelikumīgi, but do tell me if you find something to the contrary) sniegt šo informāciju bez maksas (kamēr tā ir oriģinālā stāvoklī un kvalitātē), tad tās saņēmējiem, stream gadījumos, ir ļoti vieglas iespējas šo informāciju ierakstīt, lai pielietotu atkārtoti. What exactly could they do about that, other than banning streaming on some bullshit principles?

Either way, what they are trying to do doesn't make much sense to me largely.

I just made myself tea while the crippled cat is trying to clean itself.

Finding people worth spending my time with is like finding a diamond in a huge, steaming pile of shit that just seems to get bigger with each passing second.

It is 28 past ten, and I've spent the last 4hours non-stop on the internet. Mostly reading articles. Not sure, but I think the amount I spend on internet (when I get the chance) might be characterized as a form of psychological addiction.

Anyhow, to the point. Although I'm not sure how many, if anyone, will read this, but this space is as much about me getting the thoughts out as it is getting them to someone, just feel like spilling the guts.

Most of the people I've met in my life, have been, what I'd call, ''passers''. They don't remain here for long, be it because I don't want them around anymore, I never wanted them around to begin with or that they don't want me around. Latter bothers me the least, actually.

I do admit that I do not understand how people sustain friendships for a really long time, but I especially don't understand the effort put into it because of principles that seem to me completely insidious.

Judging from experience, tales and statistics, most people are either not worth spending your time with, and quite a lot are not worth spending your time with yet. I've seen people change into what is a more attractive personality, and, sadly, quite the reverse, too. Still don't see much of a pattern, maybe my fault, maybe there is no pattern to see, maybe there are just too many factors for me to comprehend.

Anyhow, besides that, nothing that much to add, besides things like me doing more drug experimentation lately and changing my views one-at-a-time, to even more unpopular ones in comparison to what they were before. If majority thought I was a whack before, now they would think so even more. And that is okay.

I mean, what isn't okay in this world, really? Desensitization, coupled with distancing, is, in a way, a tactic of coping.

Speaking of coping. A quick thought on trauma got me thinking. Trauma is, in general, bad for well-being, but, as it is unavoidable in the process of existence, it is significant that trauma occurs, preferably, in proportionally increasing amounts. Let's say we make a scale, 1 to 10, of the traumaticism of experiences. If a person has experienced no trauma in its life and its first experience of trauma is a 10, chances of that person coping and handling it are way lower, than if said person has experienced weaker proportions of trauma before, as it toughens us up. One has to remember, however, that, as one movie put it, ''every man has his breaking point'', and that certain experiences, especially on a long enough timeline, can shatter almost anyone. There are variables, but everyone can break, once the limit is breached.

I just wonder what will be my next breaking point.