nopenopenope

Without drugs, I am bored. Not sure if apathy or what exactly. Seems to be that I have certain symptoms fitting secondary alexithymia, might be a repressing thing of a ptsd nature, especially if we take a look at how detached I've become from everything during the last year. Don't know what to do.

First thing to do is to kick smoking, which isn't going to be easy, especially if we take into account that most people I've surrounded myself with lately are smokers, and I've become prone to not seek new social contact. Like a damn cluster of problems.

Quetiapine will help me with withdrawal symptoms such as sleeplessness, but besides that it will not be easy. I could really use some help and support, but I really don't feel as if I have someone I can ask of that. I've become very convinced that nobody cares about how I feel or how I'm doing, at least in general, and, in return, I've become more and more indifferent to the feelings of others. I just see no reason to care about anything.

It seems like it will be some solitary struggle once again; although, that has been the case for the most part, really.

I admit that I do think it'd be easier to just ragequit.

A rather short list of movies/shows I deem worth watching

Pay no attention to order, only names of the movies and their years (not in all cases) are mentioned:

Code Geass: Lelouch Of The Rebellion (anime series)
Alice In Wonderland, the Disney 50's cartoon
Franz Kafka - A Country Doctor (anime)
Howls Moving Castle
Princess Mononoke
Spirited Away (anime, as I'm sure there was a movie named like that)
My Neighbor Totoro (To these last 4 I would like to add that all I've seen from studio Ghibli was worth watching)
Moon (2009)
Psycho (1960)
Schizopolis
George Carlin - You are all diseased (a stand-up) (1999)
Cube (1997)
Aliens (1986) (most of the series is worth watching if one is into this type of horror)
A Clockwork Orange
American Psycho (2000)
Batman: The Dark Knight (Mostly due to Ledgers performance)
Dark City (1998)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)
Fight Club (1999)
Henry's Crime
Jacobs Ladder (Recomended to any Silent Hill game series fan, you will see why)
Pandorum
Scott Pilgrim VS. the World (2010)
Stay (2005)
The Fly (1986)
The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (2005)
The Prestige
The Boondock Saints (1999)
There Will Be Blood (2007)
Yellowbrickroad (2010)